Hey guys (straight white men in particular), I’ve been having trouble lately with feeling like I have to redirect your good intentions in feminist allyship into helpful action steps. I’m happy giving you benefit of the doubt that you really do mean well but are maybe unclear on what to do.
So here’s an advanced guide for good guys who want to be helpful online when a woman shares a post or article about a feminist issue:
These things are unhelpful:
– Acting shocked that men do these things
– Proclaiming that you are a good dude who already knows and applies this
– Repeating the exact sentiment a woman just expressed but using different words as if somehow your version is pithier
– Debating the specifics of the post with the woman who posted it (asking for genuine clarification is ok)
These things are neutral:
– Clicking like
– Commenting “Thanks for posting, I agree”
These things are ACTUALLY HELPFUL:
– Sharing/amplifying the woman’s post on your feed
– Sharing the post with your guy friends
– Tagging several of your guy friends in the comments and saying “hey did you know this was an issue? Let’s try to do better”
– Starting actual IRL conversations with your guy friends about the article you read even though there are no women present and you will get no immediate cookies for your wokeness
– Educating the doofuses in the woman’s comments section who are still so trapped in their misogyny that they will only listen to you, A Man™
– Defending the woman against the trolls who attack her so she knows at least some dudes have her back, even if the troll is a hopeless case
– Actually examining yourself for places you might fit the description of the article’s complaint, despite your self-identification as a good woke dude
– Encouraging your fellow men to do the same
– Bringing up the topic to other men in other speeches/groups you lead (best if you credit the woman who brought it to your attention)
– Oh and you can definitely always give money to the woman who helped you learn. You don’t have to but even the price of a cup of coffee to her paypal is a really nice gesture of appreciation for her help in increasing your wokeness. (Mine is paypal.me/ardensirens if you dug this!)
I’m just really tired of all the guys on here who clearly want to self-identify as nice woke dudes but who won’t do anything beyond proclaiming themselves to be nice woke dudes. I can say I’m the Queen of England all damn day but that doesn’t mean I actually am. Please starting walking your talk.
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