t’s often been said that if you feel an immediate, urgent attraction or connection to someone, that that’s a sign you should run – that it is inevitably your shared wounding communicating to each other.

This is only true if you’re still in your wounding.

We tend to recognize our soul connections very immediately. They’re the people we feel inexplicably drawn to (or, conversely, dramatically repelled by). We may deny our feelings, or we may be unaware of what they are, but our bodies know.

If we’re still in our wounding, then yes, we will attract soul connections that mirror our wounding to us. We will attract people who show up as unpleasant lessons for us to learn from so we can heal, if we can recognize and accept the invitation. So this adage isn’t entirely wrong.

But it seems to implicitly advise that instead we settle for those relationships that are made of a slow, growing attraction over time, that we completely avoid the lightning strikes because they’re inherently coming from a compromised space, and this simply doesn’t have to be so. There’s nothing wrong with choosing an attraction that grows over time, especially if it feels safer to us and mostly because we live in a free will universe and that is a valid choice.

But secretly, we love the lightning, no?

Here’s the trap: the lightning may be sign of a meaningful soul connection, but it certainly isn’t a guarantee of longterm partnership or even healthy relationship. So there is no getting around doing the work. The work absolutely must be done by both parties if a relationship is to last, and the more work each individual has done on themselves before it happens, the more rooted in higher love that soul connection will be, because naturally each individual will be attracting their equal, and the connection will be a reflection of their shared meeting point along their growth trajectory.

And sometimes the lightning is meant to be followed but not to last, and in that case, again, the more everyone is doing the work, the happier and healthier that connection will show up because both individuals will be mindfully aware of its true nature and purpose rather than mistaking their feelings for a societally imprinted narrative of permanence. There will be less and less abandonment wounding when it’s time for the container to end, and those involved will instead feel positivity toward the growth and upgrades they received from one another.

And this is to say nothing of those soul connections that are purely platonic, or romantic only on a higher self level, with no relationship agreement in the 3D.

What bothers me about the idea that we should run if we feel immediate and inexplicable feelings for someone is that it presupposes that we are in our wounding. And when you only give people the option to act from their wounding, you keep them in their wounding. What stories are you telling them about themselves? What possibilities are you showing them? Why are you sitting here telling people that magick isn’t real and then thinking you’re being helpful?

And do you think we heal ourselves so we can lose those marvelous feelings? Where’s the fun in healing if it cures us of the miracle of love at first sight? I don’t want to live in a world where I have to choose between relational wellness and the experience of immediate, soul-instinctive passion.

Everyone keep doing your spiritual homework and your relationships will start sorting themselves out on their own. There’s never not a good reason to follow your heart, just be mindful of how it’s serving you and watch for what shows up.