The people who love you don’t want you to set yourself on fire to keep them warm. They don’t want you to keep getting hurt. They want to see you take care of yourself, and they want you to help them take care of you by setting your personal boundaries. If they see you breaking yourself apart to please others, they’ll hang back so they don’t inadvertently do more damage in your life. They don’t want you to break yourself for them, and they can’t trust you not to. They need to see you make good choices for yourself.
The people who want you to set yourself on fire to keep them warm are the people who don’t, or can’t, for whatever reason, love you. And it’s not on you to prove your worth to them. If they can’t see your value now, they sure as fuck won’t see it when you’re burning alive. The people who want to use you will be attracted to your flame like moths. Your sacrifice makes you into carrion for vultures.
So you keep bending and breaking hoping to prove yourself worthy so that you’ll finally earn love, and then you wonder why it’s never enough. But the people who want to give you love are waiting for you to choose it for yourself.
I repeat: The people who love you don’t want to see you get hurt. And they have to trust you not to hurt yourself and make them an unwitting accomplice to it. Because that’s not fair to either of you.