How’s your energetic relationship to the objects in your space?

How does one have an energetic relationship to an object, you may ask. Let me explain.

While I haven’t personally used the Konmari approach to space organization, one of my understandings of her system is that it recommends holding an object in your hands and sensing whether it brings you joy – and if it does, you keep it, and if not, you discard it. That is the difference between an energetic relationship to an object and a lack of one. Loosely, it’s the idea of an object having “sentimental value.”

Of course, we can have negative energetic relationships to objects too – objects left behind by our exes that they refuse to pick up but don’t want us to throw out, homework textbooks, family heirlooms bearing negative imprints from toxic relatives but which we can’t bring ourselves to get rid of.

Part of achieving happiness comes from purposely curating the effect our living spaces have on our bodies. A positive energetic relationship with our space and the objects within it will have a significant effect on our daily sense of well-being. While we live in a time of economic and housing crises that can make this a more difficult task than it should be, there are many ways we can be more conscious about our space that require more imagination than budget.

Energetic relationships also have different flavors. Certain objects, scents, colors, and textures tell a story, evoke an emotion, or even dictate behavior – the design and decor of a cathedral, school, and nightclub all tell you how to feel and act when you enter them.

If you’re especially energetically tuned in this fashion, your space will evolve as you do. When I first moved into my LA apartment, I based my living room decor on three themes: a turn-of-the-century bordello, Sherlock Holmes’ library, and a hunting lodge with taxidermy and scotch. I would only later connect the dots that, as a submissive-identifying woman (at that time anyway), I had unconsciously drawn inspiration from settings where men are comfortable and in power. As I’ve evolved into a more empowered feminine archetype, I’ve slowly outfitted my space to also draw from the themes of an apothecary and witches’ lair, with dark feminine elements like skull candles and jars of herbs and incense, which is more about solitary craft than pleasing others. (See where this gets interesting?)

Sometimes I go into people’s homes and it barely seems like they live there – walls the same dull white the landlord painted them, standard plastic venetian blinds on the windows, drab functional furniture that exists as a non-choice, a way to opt out of making a statement. I don’t understand how they could choose to live in a standard-issue prison, in what amounts to little more than an oversized cubicle. Again this is very little about budget and very much about creativity – although I also understand creative bandwidth is scarce in times of economic stress, so no judgments, just observations. This post isn’t designed to denigrate anyone but rather to point out what I feel is an important factor in our sensory well-being, one that I have had worthwhile results from prioritizing.

What story are you telling when you walk into your home? What feelings are you evoking in yourself? How do you want others to feel? What is the energetic flavor of your space? Living, resting, working, falling asleep and waking up in a space that makes you feel good is a large part of finding everyday, bodily happiness. Surrounding yourself with objects with which you have a positive energetic relationship will recharge your stores of joy on a daily basis and give you a better baseline level for happiness.

I’m particularly talented at evoking an aesthetic with home decor. I’ve not only done this within my own space but also for friends who were moving into new spaces, whether I helped organize their furniture or just made them a Pinterest board based on the themes and moods they wanted to achieve.

I’d like to offer that as a service too someday, but I’m still working out the details. If you’re interested though and want an earlybird low price to help me practice for you, let me know.

But please don’t miss out on the opportunity to really live where you live, and not to merely treat yourself like a temporary tenant of earth (even if that’s what we all are in the end). Having a home that feels like home, if you can swing it in this dire age, will have an enormous impact on your well-being and is well worth any effort you can put in.